INTENSE PASSIONATE DRIVER – w4m
INTENSE PASSIONATE DRIVER – w4m
I saw you today driving a black SUV down Bastogne. I couldn’t help but be drawn to your skillfully maneuvered fingers as they plowed up your hairy nostril. The intensity made me think of a little dog humping the leg of some oblivious dementia consumed grandpa. The way you were digging in your nose made me want to call 9 1 1 because I just knew you were causing yourself some sort of brain trauma. But i knew you were ok once i saw you pull your chubby little finger from the crevice in your face and stare longingly at it. You studied your boogers with what seemed like an eternity, and then when you could not resist it anymore, the urge to jam your snot filled finger into your mouth consumed you and you ate your booger. You closed your eyes with ecstasy as you let its slimy grossness consume your soul. Ok dude, seriously, you’re effin gross, and i pray i never have to come in contact with your booger eatin ass!!! BON A PETIT BOOGER EATER!!!
- Location: Bastogne and Normandy
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
belly button lint
belly button lint
I have a collection of belly button lint,will trade for muscle car,harley,rifles gold coins work also or make cash offer ,also interested in motor cycles. no lowball serious only willing to split if you dont have what im looking for,,
- Location: Baltimore
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
belly button lint
belly button lint
I have a collection of belly button lint,will trade for muscle car,harley,rifles gold coins work also or make cash offer ,also interested in motor cycles. no lowball serious only willing to split if you dont have what im looking for,,
- Location: Baltimore
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Hey geeks–Insert your male connector into my software
Hey geeks–Insert your male connector into my software
You geeks fuck better than jocks any day. So if your two external storage devices are signalling to your CPU that it’s time to commence a data upload, consider inserting your male connector into my software. Of course the fit most likely won’t be perfect at first, so you’ll need to withdraw and re-insert hundreds, perhaps thousands of times until connectivity is achieved, my circuitry goes into an infinite loop, your motherboard overheats, my loud speakers start spewing out filthy garbage, your hard drive motor spins out of of control, and all your hundreds of millions of 1′s and 0′s start overflowing my data receptacle. I’m a 1987 model year with parts made in Asia and North America. I interface well with models from any continent, as long as you perform regular maintenance on your equipment, have a solid state chassis, and pack lots of RAM! Send me some technical specs and Visio diagrams if you want to move this functional design document into full production mode. End of message.
- Location: South Asheville
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Wanted – Crazy Roommate!
Wanted – Crazy Roommate!
Here’s the deal – I’ve been trying to rent a room in my house, but saying, “We’re a house of laid-back working people looking for same” has done nothing but bring out the crazies. Either that, or my standard for crazy is so low that nobody on Earth qualifies as sane.
I feel that I must have been doing something wrong, so I’m going to try a new tact: ask for the crazies in the hope that a normal person replies to me.
Here’s where you come in.
If any of these apply to you, I want you to be my new roommate!
-Your Facebook photo has you pointing a gun to the camera with a bandana around your neck and wearing a shirt that says “Thug 4 Life”
-You’ve been evicted from your last three places because your landlords “were all stupid biches”[sic]
-You’re hoping to cram yourself, your significant other, and two kids into one room.
-You have enough pets to classify your room as a small zoo.
-You are thinking about moving up to the Seattle area, so can I please hold the room for two months until you can look at it?
-You want the room at half the price with utilities thrown in… with your own private bathroom, entrance, and hopefully kitchen (if it’s not too much to ask)
-You feel the need to explain how your ex screwed you over in your introductory e-mail
-You want it to be so 420 friendly that… dude… wait… what?
Don’t be bashful! Apply immediately!
You must be able to fail a criminal background check, preferably with at last one felony and be at least a level three sex offender.
Unemployed is preferable but not required. References from previous evictions a plus.
My ideal roommates are pictured above.
To the person who flagged the first post for removal at 3am last night… you’re just the type of person I’m looking for! E-mail me and set up a viewing today!
Seriously, though, I must be hitting too close to home, because people keep flagging the ad for removal (as well as many people flagging for “best of Craigslist”).
- cats are OK – purrr
- dogs are OK – wooof
- Location: Lynnwood
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Wanted – Crazy Roommate!
Wanted – Crazy Roommate!
Here’s the deal – I’ve been trying to rent a room in my house, but saying, “We’re a house of laid-back working people looking for same” has done nothing but bring out the crazies. Either that, or my standard for crazy is so low that nobody on Earth qualifies as sane.
I feel that I must have been doing something wrong, so I’m going to try a new tact: ask for the crazies in the hope that a normal person replies to me.
Here’s where you come in.
If any of these apply to you, I want you to be my new roommate!
-Your Facebook photo has you pointing a gun to the camera with a bandana around your neck and wearing a shirt that says “Thug 4 Life”
-You’ve been evicted from your last three places because your landlords “were all stupid biches”[sic]
-You’re hoping to cram yourself, your significant other, and two kids into one room.
-You have enough pets to classify your room as a small zoo.
-You are thinking about moving up to the Seattle area, so can I please hold the room for two months until you can look at it?
-You want the room at half the price with utilities thrown in… with your own private bathroom, entrance, and hopefully kitchen (if it’s not too much to ask)
-You feel the need to explain how your ex screwed you over in your introductory e-mail
-You want it to be so 420 friendly that… dude… wait… what?
Don’t be bashful! Apply immediately!
You must be able to fail a criminal background check, preferably with at last one felony and be at least a level three sex offender.
Unemployed is preferable but not required. References from previous evictions a plus.
My ideal roommates are pictured above.
To the person who flagged the first post for removal at 3am last night… you’re just the type of person I’m looking for! E-mail me and set up a viewing today!
Seriously, though, I must be hitting too close to home, because people keep flagging the ad for removal (as well as many people flagging for “best of Craigslist”).
- cats are OK – purrr
- dogs are OK – wooof
- Location: Lynnwood
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Wanted: Mule named Sal
Wanted: Mule named Sal
Looking for a mule named Sal to travel to Buffalo on the Erie Canal.
Must be a good ol’ worker and and a great ol’ pal.
Name is non-negotiable.
- Location: Erie Canal
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Wanted: Mule named Sal
Wanted: Mule named Sal
Looking for a mule named Sal to travel to Buffalo on the Erie Canal.
Must be a good ol’ worker and and a great ol’ pal.
Name is non-negotiable.
- Location: Erie Canal
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Furniture Fellow – m4w
Furniture Fellow – m4w
Ever imagined having an attractive man kneel chivalrously on the floor while you comfortably rest your favorite heels on him like a footstool? Perhaps decadently flicking through a copy of Vogue magazine as you do so?
Or maybe simply using him as a chair or a convenient & portable table for your cocktail glass?
Get treated like a princess by a polite, intelligent, sane & respectful gent who just happens to enjoy being used as “furniture” by ladies.
Get in touch for a fun & slightly daring new experience!
- Location: Central London
- it’s ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Furniture Fellow – m4w
Furniture Fellow – m4w
Ever imagined having an attractive man kneel chivalrously on the floor while you comfortably rest your favorite heels on him like a footstool? Perhaps decadently flicking through a copy of Vogue magazine as you do so?
Or maybe simply using him as a chair or a convenient & portable table for your cocktail glass?
Get treated like a princess by a polite, intelligent, sane & respectful gent who just happens to enjoy being used as “furniture” by ladies.
Get in touch for a fun & slightly daring new experience!
- Location: Central London
- it’s ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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